Are You Living a Script You Didn’t Write?

Scripted or Unscripted? Only one leads to a life that actually feels like yours.

Would you rather live a scripted life—or an unscripted one?

The scripted life is predictable. It’s like a recipe. Do the right things at the right time, follow the steps, and you get the output you’re told you’d get. The system rewards you. Maybe with some praise, a raise, a title—whatever “success” is supposed to look like.

The unscripted life is different. It’s the life where you don’t know exactly how it will unfold, but it’s your life. There’s no map. No playbook. No one is handing you a set of instructions. You’re figuring it out—or life is—along the way.

One of the most damaging terms in business is “best practices.”
It’s the ultimate scripted-life phrase. It says, “This is how it’s supposed to be done,” and a sea of lemmings happily fall in line.

Before Tesla, think about the state of car manufacturing. Everyone was making slightly different versions of the same thing. Try telling the difference between a Honda Accord, a Toyota Camry, and a Ford Taurus (which doesn’t even exist anymore—so much for “best”).

That’s what happens when best practices take over. Things look the same, feel the same, and eventually fade out. The same is true in life and business—many a script is given to you, and you’re expected to follow it. Except the reality is, you get to choose to follow someone else’s script, or write your own.

I wouldn’t claim to have lived a completely unscripted life (I’m still an accountant at heart, after all). But I’ve made deliberate choices—exercised real agency—and infused a meaningful amount of unscripted thinking into my life and business. And for me, that’s the difference. That’s what turns existing into living, and building a business into building your business.

I left my career path early (like at 23) when I realized it was a mistake. I married young—not because it was trendy or rebellious, but because it was right for me. My wife and I had more kids than most because we wanted a family that actually felt like a family. A little more chaos, a little less control.

When I started my business, I didn’t know what I was doing. It was 2001. The internet was new, and nobody really knew what they were doing. That helped. I built a business that said “no” more than it said “yes.” I got clear on what I wouldn’t do.

I rejected the idea of having HR in the business when it was the thing to do. I simply looked at that role and function to enable people to not to figure their own problems out, which made no sense to me. To that point: I once brought in an HR consultant for some HR training my insurance company required. She basically taught my employees how to use loop holes to sue me. It was enlightening. And yes, she was fired.

I niched down when everyone else was preaching diversification. During COVID, I focused on team and togetherness when the mainstream was yelling for distance and isolation (I still think this is dumb). I didn’t follow a template. I followed what I believed was best. That’s what an unscripted life looks like.

Some people reading this couldn’t imagine not doing exactly what the government told them to do. And that’s fine—but that’s not an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur isn’t afraid to question everything. Sometimes the role of an entrepreneur is to do the opposite.

Living unscripted doesn’t have to mean rejecting everything. It means being intentional about what you accept and what you don’t. If you looked at my life, you’d see a blend of traditional and nontraditional choices. I’m not a live-on-the-edge adrenaline junkie. But I do challenge the status quo. I know what I want, and I’m willing to go after it—without waiting for permission, even if it goes against the “script.”

There’s no shortage of people and systems trying to script your life. School. Church. Work. Family. Government. You’re rewarded for following the rules, checking boxes, and doing what’s expected. If you stray, you’re corrected (for your own good, of course).

So take a step back.

If you’re building a business, what do you want it to look like in five years? If you’re building a life that matters, where do you see yourself next year? And what’s one or two decisions you could make that would scare the people around you? Not for shock’s sake, but because that’s what you truly want or believe is best.

Are you willing to write your own script instead of following theirs?

Can you break the rules? Or at least start bending them?

[hint: there are no rules]

The biggest challenge I see in coaching isn’t a lack of effort—it’s a lack of knowing what one wants. They just know they’re suffering. They’ve hired me to help them suffer less. And the first step is deciding what matters, what they actually want.

Once you know what you want, we can go after it. That’s where coaching begins. Not with a how, but with a what.

I coach entrepreneurs—those established and those just getting started—to build businesses and lives that are unscripted. I help them build what matters. Because what matters is personal. Building your life or business off of best practices isn’t creation—it’s just assembling some parts with someone else’s instructions.

And that’s no life to live—at least in my opinion!

The life to live is the unscripted one. A life that is designed—and uncovered—by you. One where you can take advice from the establishment, but still have the freedom to go your own way.

That’s the life I’m living. That’s the life I help others build.

-Adam